When I was a boy, the distinction between
the genteel home and lesser dwellings was the
presence of a piano. Preferably a piano in
the parlor, which was a special room in the
genteel home the purpose of which was to house
the piano and to entertain guests. This room
was not actually lived in the way a bedroom
or kitchen or even a living room was lived
in, but was reserved for special occasions:
When the minister visited, he was entertained
in the parlor. Daughters sat in the parlor
with their beaux, under, or at least uncomfortably
near, the vigilant parental eye. The parlor
was not part of the house that the family lived
in, it was the part of the house that the family
did not live in, and that formal visitors did
not go beyond. If you were such a visitor,
you came in by the front door and sat in the
parlor, If you were part of the family, or
an intimate of the family, you came in by the
kitchen door, and did not go in by the front
door or sit in the parlor except on special
occasions.
In my family, great-grandmother,
grandmother, mother, and all four of the
daughters--Lisa, Deborah, Elisabeth and Sarah--played
the piano and the whole family gathered around
and sang. We sang Stephen Foster's interpretations
of Negro Spirituals, traditional Irish ballads
and Civil War songs on my great-grandmother's
side; cowboy hollers and worksongs on my
grandfather's side; Gilbert and Sullivan, Broadway
show tunes and popular music from the 'thirties
and 'forties under our parents' influence;
and whatever else we picked up along the way,
memorized from records or learned from friends.
Singing was something we did a lot of, and
if there was a piano around, which there usually
was, it made it all the merrier. A piano and
a parlor were in the same important class as
lace curtains. They marked you as a member
of the middle class, or at least of the rising
working class.
A piano, a parlor and lace curtains
were things that you did not need in order
to live, but which, like indoor plumbing,
made life more pleasant. They meant you had
a little something to spare; that you weren't
living too close to the bone of life, but rather
in the plumper part. The next step up would
be cut flowers in the house--even though no
one was dead. We never went that far, as I
recollect.